
The holidays are a time of sparkling lights, festive carols, and cozy moments. For me, Christmas is one of the most beautiful times of the year—filled with the warmth of giving, the celebration of Christ, and the joy of decorating my home with love and care. But if I’m honest, it can also be one of the most emotionally challenging seasons.
The holidays often bring an unspoken pressure to "be merry" even when parts of your heart feel heavy. The memories of the year’s struggles can quietly resurface, unresolved pains may re-ignite wounds we thought had healed, and the expectation to gather in spaces that disrupt our peace can leave us drained.
This tension between the beauty and burden of the season is one I’ve felt deeply. If you’ve experienced it too, I want to share some insights I’ve learned about how to hold space for both joy and healing during the holidays.
The Unseen Challenges of the Holiday Season
While the world celebrates, many of us carry unseen burdens during this time:
Grief: Whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a season of life, the holidays can intensify feelings of longing and sadness.
Family Dynamics: Reuniting with family can be joyful, but it can also bring unresolved tension, triggers, or emotional exhaustion.
Financial Pressure: The expectation to give extravagantly or participate in every festive event can strain finances and mental well-being.
Loneliness: For some, the holidays magnify feelings of isolation, especially when surrounded by images of togetherness and cheer.
Even as we celebrate, it’s important to acknowledge the layers of emotion the season brings. You can love Christmas and still recognize its challenges—and that’s okay.
Maintaining Boundaries During the Holidays
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself during this season is the ability to set and maintain boundaries. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about protecting your peace and honoring your emotional needs. Here’s how you can do that:
Identify Your Triggers: Reflect on what disrupts your peace during the holidays. Is it certain conversations, overcommitting to events, or financial stress? Recognizing your triggers is the first step to setting boundaries.
Communicate Your Needs Clearly: Let loved ones know what you need to feel supported this season. For example, if you’d prefer a smaller gathering or want to avoid specific topics, communicate that respectfully.
Practice Saying No: It’s okay to decline invitations or traditions that drain you. Your well-being is more important than meeting every expectation.
Create New Traditions: If old traditions no longer serve you, start new ones that align with your values and bring you joy. For me, that might look like cozy evenings with my favorite Christmas movies, lighting a candle for quiet prayer, or spending quality time with friends who feel like family.
Set Time Limits: If you’re attending gatherings that may be emotionally taxing, decide in advance how long you’ll stay. Give yourself permission to leave when you need to.
Focus on What Matters Most: Reflect on what makes this season meaningful to you. Whether it’s your faith, giving back to others, or creating a peaceful space at home, let those priorities guide your decisions.
Reclaiming the Joy and Peace of the Season
To truly reclaim the joy and peace of Christmas, it’s important to center the season on what brings you fulfillment. Here are a few ways to do that:
Attend to Your Inner Wounds: Use this time to reflect on the year and acknowledge the pains you’ve carried. Journaling, prayer, or therapy can help you process those feelings. Healing is a gift you can give yourself.
Practice Gratitude: Even amidst challenges, there are always moments to be grateful for. Each day, write down one thing that brought you joy, however small.
Surround Yourself with Safe People: Spend time with those who uplift and support you, whether they’re family, friends, or a chosen tribe. The holidays are meant to be shared with those who honor your authenticity.
Slow Down: It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of the season. Take moments to breathe, reflect, and connect with God. Let the peace of Christ guide your heart during this time.
A Gentle Reminder
You don’t have to attend every event, meet every expectation, or push through pain to create a picture-perfect Christmas. The holidays can be both a time of celebration and a season of self-care.
As you navigate the challenges, may you reclaim the joy, peace, and beauty of the season in a way that feels true to you. Honor your emotions, protect your boundaries, and remember that the greatest gift you can give yourself is the grace to be fully you.
Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones—from my heart to yours.
About Shanique Victoria Edwards

Shanique Victoria Edwards, BSc, MDiv, and Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), is the founder of Shanique Victoria Psychotherapy & Wellness, a virtual private practice committed to providing compassionate and transformative mental health care to all individuals. While Shanique works with a diverse range of clients, her practice has a committed focus on supporting Black and racialized individuals through culturally relevant and faith-informed care. She is passionate about creating safe spaces where clients can explore their mental health, navigate challenges, and build resilience.
Shanique specializes in areas such as racial trauma recovery, mental wellness, and integrating spirituality into therapy. Her work is particularly informed by an Afro-Caribbean lens, ensuring that her services are culturally affirming and grounded in an understanding of her clients’ lived experiences.
In addition to her private practice, Shanique is a sought-after speaker, trainer, and facilitator. She has delivered workshops and presentations on topics including racial trauma and mental health, cultural competency in mental health care, navigating burnout and compassion fatigue, and promoting inclusivity in clinical practice. She has also developed programs on Africentric crisis intervention, making mental health services safe for Black and racialized individuals, and fostering healing and resilience in marginalized communities.
Through her writing, speaking engagements, and community collaborations, Shanique advocates for equity and inclusion while empowering individuals to embrace their unique paths toward healing and growth. Her work bridges cultural understanding with evidence-based practices, making mental health care accessible and affirming for all.
For more resources and to learn more about Shanique’s work, visit www.shaniquevictoria.com.
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